A Year in Afghanistan

A little over a year ago, I reported to CHBOLC for my chaplain basic officer leadership course. 3 and half months later after graduating, I boarded a plane for HI as an active duty chaplain to inprocess to my first duty station. 9 days later I boarded another plane in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. I was going to war....now 10 months later as I finish up this year of deployment I can honestly say I am a different man than the one who reported to Ft Jackson.

I am different because of so many new friends who invested in me, Jason Bird, a chaplain who is currently deployed here as well in Kandahar, Ch Kline, who was tough on our class, and yet, saw something in me to challenge me a little further, to push me a little harder...to plant a desire for true ministry to Joes, and not get wrapped around the axle of all the Army rules and regulations. Our squad in 1 platoon will forever have a special place in my mind, our ability to keep ourselves entertained during death by powerpoint is worthy of an army commendation medal for sure. Bird, Berry, Clayson, Amato, Daniels and Bates...I know SFC Ramirez and the School house will never be the same.

Each moment of rubbing shoulders with such people made me a little better than I was, a little better than I ever was going to be. And now over here, I have seen the worst of the worst..in humanity, in horror...I have looked into the black bag of death and come away forever changed....appreciative of the time that is granted...understanding we are but a electrical spark away from eternity and our own zipper of closure. All of these things have given me a tremendous desire to enjoy each moment, to see the story behind the person, the things that make so many so neurotic at times has taken on a new ability of comprehension, compassion, and empathy.

Mostly, this last year, I have grown in my own relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Alive, well, walking this planet in the form of so many servants. I have learned though I have lost all, as long as I have Him, I am wealthy beyond comparison. I have gained new insight into Psalms 23 as I roll down the IED infested roads of this country with my Soldiers remembering that even though we roll through the valley, we have no reason to fear. I think everyone should have to live as if today was the day they would meet their maker....it is terribly clarifying of what is and what is important.

I have so appreciated who my children have become, the extension of the personalities I saw so many years ago now fully developed, fully engaged, fully enjoyed.

All these things have transpired this year....and while my posting is latter than the first, (welcome to being deployed) I wanted to take a moment and share, lest I someday, somehow forget....

One day,

One day I wrote an email...it forever changed my thinking....
One day I took a plane ride... that forever changed my heart....
One day I invested in gold...that forever changed my finances....
One day I forgave all... that brought freedom to my future....
One day I will ask a question... that will be my forever answer....

Disney, Deserts, Dreams, and Delights!

Wow, how times flies when you are at War!

I must confess though for 29 days I was on leave in the States having the time of my life:

I spent 10 glorious days reuniting with Ty and Ray, and Benji! We did Disney World, stayed at Shades of Green Resort at Disney World, a military resort for Soldiers and their families...we blasted through 3 out of the 4 parks with Tyson boldly leading the way! It was fun to just go along for the ride with my now very adult children....

It is amazing to me...while it was 3 years ago Christmas that we were all together...it seems in their development much longer....oh my...as I watched I saw Pastor Tyson...minister, organize..oh my how well he is organized...(I wish i had more of that gene) and love on people...his church loves him and Ray.

I got to see Ray teach a class of students, and to revel in the transformation I have been privileged to witness in her own life from the camo kicking tom boy..to the beautiful and Godly gracious woman I saw teach jr high kids about the certainty of God! Talk about a blessing!

And then there is my youngest..the last time i saw him was 2 years ago in Biloxi at Keesler...still stuck between manhood and teen....but when I saw him this trip...there is no doubt in anyone's mind of the amazing man he has become! Oh my goodness..the same sweet kind spirit that has always touched my heart...but a new found confidence and drive...that I find myself so admiring in him!

My children are grown, their lives are full and glorious..God has answered the prayers of this Father...in many ways for me it was a passing of the torch, from each one of them insisting that they pay for our meal at different times, to the leadership displayed in certain arenas of life....I found myself silently slipping back to the back seat...and just enjoying this new position of friend and mentor rather than Father, provider..needed...it was a bitter sweet moment for sure..and yet so necessary, natural and healthy!

WOW talk about proud.

The latter part of my leave was spent in Palm Springs with my good friend Michelle. We toured the country side (thanks to my navigator patience, who seems to get me lost more than I do), we hiked Andreas Canyon and sat beside the pools of the oasis there in the middle of the desert..and laughed and talked and envisioned a new future...such a great time.

I now know what a village idiot is....and it is my favorite....although perhaps the guy singing on the guitar wasn't as appreciative of me joining in a stirring rendition of Brown Eyed Girl...lol oh well, it was my vacation!

A late night swim, more sunshine soaked up and a chance to catch up on my sleep and my own imagination....fireside talks, and dreams....

In 3.5 months Lord willing I will get to return to the island and after 2 years of my life being on hold, searching, waiting, praying..it is time to begin living it again with the things the Lord has in store for me..

Army News:

I love my mission here, I love ministering to Joes..I am told I am good at it, I am just glad that my past life has given me some tools that allow me to relate to their stories....I think too many of us believers have lost touch with "real people" and their real problems...

Perhaps all of us would do well to follow Jesus model and wander around touching, teaching, seeing the needs, trying to meet the needs, before standing in our houses, often times out of touch, telling people the answer without having ever lived or understood the question...of course the answer is Jesus...I get that...but to touch a leper while healing them is so much better than just saying be healed....just my thoughts...

To those of you who follow...the journey to authenticity, is a lot like the story of the Velveteen Rabbit...does it hurt, he asked....yes.....but in the end you will be real...

And after all...isn't that what we all long for?

In His Grace

Just Troy

Candles in the Desert

Good morning my fine friends!

Alas, Forty Five years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable people. "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve".

Over the last week, many of you have written on my Face Book wall recounting memories that have long since faded from my view...ahh so good to reflect....ahh so hard at times to remember and to have said goodbye to so many friends...such purpose and meaning...

Birthdays are a mixed bag...I think.......you need them to stay alive, but each one checks off mercilessly the time allotted to each soul....Oh Lord teach us to count our days in order to make our days count....seems a little trite as I reflect over the last 4 plus decades of walking this world....

It is odd, that today all of these memories, bring me sadness..and to be honest, none were sad memories...so as I muse out loud...I am not sure why....

Thank you to all of you....it certainly will be a Birthday I will never forget, another year older as I blow out candles in the desert

JT

More Like Falling in Love

Greetings fellow traveler!

I just spent the last week hoping from FOB to FOB via "Huey Express"
So many thoughts tonight as I close out another week in theater...I have held 7 services in the last 4 days, on three different FOBs, each one grateful and hungry for worship, prayers, fellowship and the presence of the Holy in the midst of the Horrors of war....as I reflect on this ministry..so many things come to mind...there is a song by Jason Gray I think, that I would sing for you, but because I havent figured out how to attach videos yet, I will just share the words that describe my sense of the Holy today...

Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

Most services, messages and opportunities to
minister would do well to answer the heart
cry behind this song, when they attempt to speak
on behalf of God..

We all would be better for it....

The one thing Jesus said was greater than anything else:

LOVE!

The Love of God to man, "nothing can separate us from the Love of God"
the love of man to man, "by your love one towards another"
the love of man to God "Love the Lord your God with all your heart...."

So in the spirit that this is written

I love you all

T

Siren's Song

I should be listening to Elk Bugling calling me to the alpine snow covered mountains, inviting me to come once again to our annual contest of man against nature. Instead of 20 degree temperatures tonight and snow falling, I sit in Afghanistan in 100 degree heat listening to the Imam call to evening prayer.


And so while my body is here tonight encouraging Soldiers to press on, truly my spirit and my mind, and my heart are elsewhere. Except this fall it is not the siren song of the Wapiti that have made my pulse quicken and my eyes take on a far off look...this euphoric existential experience is about the future, and yet many ways about the past, of going back to Oahu, to the life that beckons me daily to join in its oceanic rhythm of life, to walk hand in hand embracing each new day that the Lord brings with ecstasy and passion that too long traveling the deserts of this world can bring.

Yes tonight I dream of the sweet caress of the Island, of each new vista shared, of each new memory made, of paths yet to be discovered, of challenges to be met, laughing and a jumping all along its waterfalls.

I hear her calling, beckoning me back to Hemolele, never again will I look at life the same,or take for granted what yesterday seemed so trivial that now today I would sacrifice so much to have,....a working phone....a cup of coffee with a friend....time with my sons and daughter in law, a drive in an island smart car for the first time...to take the top off of my jeep and let the rain wash away the grime of the journey as I wait expectantly for the rainbow that I know is coming...the touch of a kiss that sparks thoughts of romance as the sun gently caresses the ocean's horizon. To sit on the shore and listen to the sound of the gentle breeze breathing in and out through the trees...to softly sing songs of worship and to be one.....

This is my Siren calling tonight.... the deep trails of North Shore, the ocean beaches, the evening sun sets, the mistress of my soul, oh how I long to look deeply into her eyes and to experience all that God has created....
to drink my fill of her essence,
to drink my fill of the Island until time is no more...
and leaves me in awe whispering softly

Who is like God

Aloha

GI JOY

Walking in the Future today!

I have a friend who wrote me a letter last week, she said, knowing now what she knows, she would go through all the pain again to possess the future that God has shown her....I have pondered these words....I have said for years, I don't know what you week held, but I do know the one who held your week. I don't know what your future holds, but I do know who holds your future. As I contemplated her words, I wondered if I would "redo" my past-going through all of the hurt and pain if I got to experience this part of my journey, all of its lessons, and all of the God moments, and especially the new people I have had the privilege of being touched by....

I read in my devotion this morning about the future...God says, "You need not fear the future, for I am already there. When you make the quantum leap into eternity, you will find Me awaiting you in heaven, Your future is in My Hands; I release it to you day by day, moment by moment. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow" Such a good thought...

Truth #1 I am here exactly where I am at today, by my God's design not random chance, others choices...or even a combo of all....

Truth #2 God has laid out my steps, my future and is already there enjoying it with me! I just am not quite aware of it yet, but at times I almost see it, like the few moments in between dreamland and waking when you are really in both worlds...oh what I see is so good..only God could do what He has done in my life

Truth #3 Your past is not an indicator of your future, but rather a stepping stone into it.

Truth #4 God is especially fond of me!

As I pen this in the most unlikely of places this morning, (Fob Finley Shields, Jalalabad Afghanistan)...it is ironic to me, that I am not only here, but I am happy, I have traded in all of my old life in the last 3 years...only a few very close friends remain...my finances have been completely reworked, my faith has been completely rewritten, my family refined, my future reset...and yet, I smile this morning with all that is in me, (okay maybe not all, I am kinda weary from the journey) but mostly...of the goodness of God in the land of the living...

I cannot wait to walk in my new future...err wait...scratch that, I am walking in my future today...and loving every new detail

And So...:} the answer is yes, I would redo it to experience, to obtain this future that I now get to call my present! and what a present it is!

Dios Te Bendiga

T

Bullets, Body Armor, Bombs and Bad Guys!

What a week of intense battles here...as I write this I got to welcome back so many of my Soldiers...I cant say how many went on this mission for OP SEC reasons, but they all came back. I cant tell you how much I have prayed for their well being.


Rest seems to be a re-occurring theme in my life...I remember writing racing to rest a year ago, and here I am tonight, very weary from the pace of life, and yet so excited at what God is doing that I don't seem to mind. But I wanted to share my devotion this month with you, it is borrowed from Sarah Young's Jesus is Calling

Rest in me, my child. This time devoted to Me is meant to be peaceful, not stressful. You don't have to perform in order to receive my love. I have boundless, unconditional Love for you. How it grieves Me to see My children working for Love: trying harder and harder, yet never feeling good enough to be loved.

Be careful that your devotion to Me does not become another form of works. I want you to come into my presence joyfully and confidently. You have nothing to fear, for you wear my own righteousness. Gaze into My Eyes, and you will see no condemnation, only love and delight in the one I see. Be blessed as my face shines radiantly upon you, giving you peace.

As I reflect on these thoughts it has repeatedly occurred to me, that not a bullet, not a bomb, not a bad guy, can take my life without the one who holds it granting them permission. While I do wear my body armor, (I am not an idiot) I do not place my faith in it to save me while I walk the streets of J-Bad or Nangahar.

As I prepare to start traveling up North into the "the Valley of the Shadow" I truly fear no evil...and that just makes everything so okay.

I have gazed into the eyes of my Lord..he has looked back at me with love acceptance and forgiveness...and to that I say Hooah...now where exactly is that water pistol as we charge hell...oh well who needs it anyway....BY COURAGE AND ARMS!

Be Blessed my friends, for I am!

My God has shown me my future..and it is hand in hand with him in this life enjoying the goodness of His Gift to me!

Just Troy